So many have heard this story, ad infinitum, yet it remains a tale that cannot be retired. It appeals to all who hear it, regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation, political affiliation, social standing, and undocumented status. It needs to be preserved, respected and revered for posterity. This is the story of When Bob Met Claudia, the prequel to When Harry Met Sally. As I tell it rest assured that every morsel of it is a golden nugget of truth.

I met Claudia in the evening of Memorial Day 1971. Her brother knew that I was headed west to seek my fortune in the Golden State, and asked if his sister could hitch a ride with me in Mrs. Glogau’s 1964 Chrysler as she wanted to visit friends in San Francisco. Claudia and her mother came to my apartment that evening. At first I thought it odd that a 23 year old girl would be hanging out with her mother on that holiday night. I soon realized, however, that I was being scrutinized to see if I was a decent sort to accompany a young unattached and attractive girl on a cross county blind date. Since I was to leave on my trip the next day I had nothing on hand to offer them other than a glass of burgundy wine. After affirming that this would be an all expense paid trip for Miss Claudia, I did pass muster with Mrs. White, a result that didn’t really surprise me since it was only three days earlier that I similarly won the approval of Mrs. Glogau and her son-in-law by safely traversing a Bethesda road test in the 1964 Chrysler. I felt like I was on a roll.

The trip was delayed a day so Claudia could take a final exam at the University of Maryland, so we departed on the Wednesday after Memorial Day. She showed up that morning with cupcakes for the trip. A nice touch, a good first impression. We made it nonstop to Indianapolis that evening. If ten words were spoken during that 600 mile trip, they were spoken by her. Remember this was long before her unwarranted criticism of my driving became commonplace. Thanks to the Triple A Motor Guide that was thoughtfully provided by Mrs. Glogau we located a decent motel to stay for that night and had dinner at a diner next door. She complained that the motel clerk gave me a room in the rear of the property while she was assigned a room on the noisy highway front, indicating that her safety was likely at risk. She wanted to swap rooms, but I didn’t buy it and said good night. Later that evening I ventured out to the ice machine in the front of the property and who did I meet there but Claudia, getting ice for a miniature of bourbon she said she had. I thought to myself, what have I got here.

Day 2, Thursday, was the stretch between Indianapolis and Kansas City. Several significant developments occurred that day. First, as we started that morning Claudia suggested we stop at a local grocery store where she got bread, lunch meat, chips, fruit and condiments. That allowed her mid-trip to open the glove compartment and prepare sandwiches for our nonstop lunch. This became a staple part of the remainder of our trip. Secondly, I said a few words. Thirdly, we searched for a Triple A recommended motel, but could not figure out if it was in Kansas City, Missouri or Kansas City, Kansas. There is a toll bridge between those two cities and I think we crossed it four times that night. We finally located the motel on the Kansas side of the Missouri River and laughed about our troubles. After dinner she came to my hotel room with a couple of miniatures and I started to open up. I thought to myself, I don’t know what I got here, but I think I like it.

The next day, Friday, we drove from Kansas City to Denver. During that trip we discovered how much we both like the Carpenters’ songs. Claudia especially liked Close To You which she sang to me (the first time I heard her singing voice) in such a manner that I felt it was me who the angels sought to create on the day I was born. We were both awed by the world west of the Rockies and decided to spend the day Saturday on seeing the sights of Denver instead of continuing the trip. We also drove down to Colorado Springs and toured the U.S. Air Force Academy, the Garden of the Gods, and Pikes Peak. She became annoyed because I insisted on getting back to the motel in Denver by 5 p.m. to watch the Belmont Stakes because Canonero was racing for the Triple Crown. Unfortunately, it lost. We grieved that evening at Larimer Square in downtown Denver.

So Sunday was an adventure. Our destination was Salt Lake City but we had to cross the barren desert. Of course, that is where one would want a flat tire with knowledge only to know how to open the trunk, but certainly not to operate a jack. We saw no one for about thirty minutes. Claudia decided to stand on the side of the road and lift up her peasant dress. A car finally came by and two young fellows put the spare on the car. She always contended we were rescued because of her leg stunt. I think we were saved by those guys because that was the first car we saw. I think they were just good fellas who would have stopped for my leg. We got back on the road, but the car wasn’t running properly so we only made it to Provo that evening.

The next day, Monday morning, we took the car to a service station and was told it needed new shock absorbers. I called Mrs. Glogau and she approved the repair cost. We got back on the road and decided to spend the night in Reno. Neither of us could believe the number of folks pulling the one-armed bandits on the sidewalks and in the casino. There was also a wedding chapel on every block and Claudia suggested that we face up to the inevitable and utilize their services. I resisted because I just was not prepared at that time to lose my virginity.

We arrived in San Francisco in the late afternoon of Tuesday and I dropped Claudia off at her friends’ apartment. I wound up staying at the Motel Doyle thanks to a law school friend of mine who was in the FBI. He obtained the special FBI rate of $8 a night for me. Not too shabby for a facility that had Magic Fingers available for a quarter a shot at every bed. Over the next three days I was rejected by several San Francisco law firms and by a girl who I dated a year earlier when she worked with me at Arthur Andersen (her flimsy excuse being that she was five months pregnant). Feeling depressed I took a walk around the block and discovered the Motel Doyle was only a block and a half from where Claudia was staying. I called her and asked if she would like to get some ice cream with me and she agreed (without hesitation). During the next week we together toured the City by the Bay where cable cars reach halfway to the stars. I then decided to try my luck in Los Angeles and Claudia agreed to go with me (again, understandably without hesitation). Our stay there was brief because all of my clothes were stolen from my car overnight. I had no choice but to return to DC on the redeye that night (again accompanied by Claudia; I just couldn’t seem to shake her). We spent the day, however, at Disneyland where we were enthralled with the attractions and the frozen chocolate bananas we shared. That night, on the bus to LAX, we sat in the back and kissed for the first time. Correction, we necked.

I went to Scranton for a couple of months and returned to the DC area in September. I called Claudia and she invited me to her home in DC for Sunday night dinner. I guess that’s when we became a couple. Our courtship was short. We got engaged in January and were wedded in September of the next year.

So that’s the story and a fine one it is. I remain hopeful that this prequel will still one day be filmed, with Chris as Director, PJ as Musician and Composer, and Jake as Screenwriter. I’ll come out of retirement and handle all film and movie rights, contracts with the actors, royalty agreements and tax planning for all.

Oh, you also ask when did I know that I wanted to marry Claudia. The answer is brief: when she proposed to me.