Finally, after weeks of inane questions that have been submitted to me, I now have a topic of importance to discuss, and happily it’s a subject I know quite a bit about. I would have responded sooner but since there are so many candidates for inclusion in a Top 10 list, I decided that I should first embark on an extended tasting competition to determine the most deserving cocktails.

In my childhood and adolescent years I never heard of a “cocktail” drink. An alcohol mixed drink was a “highball”, a name I always found curious. I decided it must mean that if you drink it you could get high. But what did the “ball” part of the name signify? Of course, I’ve also harbored the same fascination with the name “cocktail”. The blending of the two separate words, “cock” and “tail”, into one word seems more sexual in implication rather than reference to a drink. Be that as it may, though, the evolution of the cocktail from its simple origins as a highball has surely been a blessing to all who are adventurous. Instead of being limited to a few elementary highballs from years ago, such as scotch and soda, rum and coke, and 7 and 7, there are now a large variety of mixed drinks that patrons can enjoy, thanks to the advancement of mixology.

Before leaving yesteryear I do want to relate a memory I have from my 20’s of the drink known as Whisky Sour. It basically is a mixture of whisky, lemon juice and sugar, and it seemed to be a favorite of the ladies. There was a family-owned restaurant in the Providence section of Scranton called Stirna’s. I dined there on several occasions with my Aunt Ann and cousin Jackie. Aunt Eleanor and her girl friends also frequented that restaurant. Stirna’s was locally famous for two things: their brownies and their Whisky Sour drink. A plate of brownies was always on the table when you were seated, and you actually had to affirmatively refuse the Whisky Sour because otherwise it was immediately brought out to you. Another unique feature of Stirna’s was its long rectangular tables. There were no round or square table and no booths. Patrons were seated at those long tables, much like a head table at a wedding or Putin’s ridiculous table, and you would dine next to or across from strangers. No matter, the brownies and the Whisky Sour were outstanding and we were in the Friendly City! 

Back to the business at hand. My Top 10 cocktails, listed in alphabetical order to avoid any semblance of favoritism (although there is that):

Manhattan – My father’s drink of choice. It also was the first drink I ever saw my sister have, and that was at Aldino’s, our favorite Italian restaurant just three blocks from the Taylor Dump. I was underage and had to sit there sipping a coke while Dad and Joan were drinking Manhattans, straight up, out of elegant martini glasses, as if they were high society. I have followed in their footsteps, however, although I prefer my Manhattan drinks over ice with vermouth and bitters. The Manhattan, actually, was the precursor to my fondness for the Perfect Rob Roy.

Margarita – My favorite tequila drink, especially with a heavily salted rim. Who doesn’t like a Margarita? Every time I have one I just want to stand up at the table and shout out “Ole, Ole”.

Martini – Every once in a while I like to think I’m special too, so I’ll order a Martini (usually gin, not vodka, and usually wet, not dry). It’s another vermouth drink on my list. I most like a Martini when it is served with blue cheese stuffed olives. My favorite Martini is a Pear or Apple Martini, or any Martini my best bud Coleman, a Martini connoisseur, would order for me.

Mimosa – This champagne and orange juice drink made the list primarily because when I’m enjoying it I’m flying first class cross country.

Mojito – This is my rum drink of choice and probably the most refreshing cocktail I drink due to the strong mint leaves ingredient, which is helpful on all the days my breath is bad.

Moscow Mule – The only vodka drink that made the cut. I am not a fan of vodka but the ginger beer in the Moscow Mule saves the day. I also think that credit should be given to the drink’s cool copper mugs.

I think it’s time to leave the “M” drinks. They are monopolizing this exercise.

Old Fashioned – Rye or Bourbon with bitters, orange juice, and sugar. Just a lovely taste that’s never out of date, just like yours truly. An appropriate drink for someone like me who makes no apology for being old fashioned.

Perfect Rob Roy – Those who know me will realize my dismay that this drink is not called “A Perfect Rob Roy” so it could be at the very top of this list. I suppose I could still do that if I knew how to cut and paste. I had my first Perfect Rob Roy at the bar in the Raindancer restaurant in Rockville (today, unfortunately, that site is a pancake house). To this day that has been my favorite bar because it was L-shaped, had cushioned stools, a padded arm rest at bar level, an attractive color scheme, and subtle background music (which, due to my hearing loss, I really couldn’t hear well). I was not what one would call a regular there, but I did stop there from time to time on my way home on nights when I worked after office hours, never for any extended period of time, just long enough for the kids to be in bed before I got home. So one night I ordered a Rob Roy, and the barkeep said how would you like a Perfect Rob Roy, and thus the love affair began. On numerous occasions I have ordered a Perfect Rob Roy and the bartender/waiter/waitress would present me with a Manhattan or a plain old Rob Roy. I’m certain they were well-meaning and just not smart, and so I’ve had to explain to them that a Manhattan is rye or bourbon whisky with sweet vermouth while a Perfect Rob Roy is scotch whisky, and that a Rob Roy is scotch with sweet vermouth while a Perfect Rob Roy is scotch with one half sweet vermouth and one half dry vermouth (which, of course, is what makes it perfect). The misunderstanding became so prevalent that at one point (maybe as an inexpensive Christmas gift since he worked at Kinko’s at the time) my son Patrick printed a stack of business cards spelling out the ingredients for a Perfect Rob Roy, followed by a request that the bartender please not spit in my drink because I had the audacity to tell him/her how to make a Perfect Rob Roy. I never got up the nerve to present that card to any bartender/waiter/waitress.

Rick Roy – This is a drink served at Founding Farmers in Rockville which one might describe as a cousin twice removed of the Perfect Rob Roy. It is made with scotch, averna liqueur, and bitters. Living now in California I miss that drink. At Founding Farmers the bartenders prepared the drink for me as soon as they saw me walk in the door, and one of them told me that they called me Mr. Rick Roy. I was flattered.

Sidecar – I first had this drink (cognac and orange liqueur, served over ice in a sugar-rimmed glass) at Ya-Ya’s in Little Rock. My wife and I would often go there at around 3 p.m. after her treatment was done for the day, and to this day the Sidecar is my favorite mid-afternoon drink.

That completes my cocktail list. While I don’t think they qualify as cocktails, I do want to express my enjoyment of and recommendation for two after-dinner drinks, i.e., Sambuca (whether black or white) with a flavor all licorice lovers will appreciate, and Irish Coffee which needs no further praise other than it’s Irish.