What rummage sale did these questions come from? Is someone testing my endurance? I’m going to comply. I’ve given a lot of thought to the answers. Please don’t ridicule them because I’m speaking from the heart.

First-ever film I saw: At first I thought that would be The Jazz Singer, an Al Jolson movie, but then I realized that I’m not that old. I do remember seeing that history-breaking movie on television, though, probably in my teens. I have faint memories of going to the decrepit West Side Theater when I was very young to see Saturday matinee cowboy movies, but I can’t remember the names or the stories of any of them. I only remember that the good cowboys wore white hats and had the fastest horses. I will identify High Noon as the first major movie I saw. I was about 8 or 9 years old and my father took me to see that film on a Sunday afternoon in what we revered as the majestic Comerford Theater in Central City Scranton. One reason I remember it so well is that as we were walking to his car after the movie I was sort of banging a rusty metal fence along the way and cut my hand. My father immediately took me to Dr. Brill’s house where the good doctor bandaged my hand, invaded me with a tetanus shot, and, as was his wont, gave us some pills for the road.

The film that scared me the most: Many contenders come to mind, such as Psycho, Jaws, Jurassic Park, and Planet of the Apes. Until recently I would have nominated any of the Devil movies as the scariest, like The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, and The Devil Wears Prada, although I confess that I never had the nerve to watch the latter. After watching the Lucifer television series, however, I’ve come to suspect that there’s no reason to be scared of the Devil, who occasionally shows a good side. So my vote for the scariest movie ever is The Silence of the Lambs because I’ve always feared cannibalism. Still do.

The film that made me cry the most: For certain it was Love Story. I had an absolute crush on Ali McGraw. Why did she have to die so young? The death of Brian Piccolo at a similar young age in Brian’s Song was also quite tearful for me, although not as much as the putting down of that frisky dog in Marley & Me.

Film that was terrible but I loved it: The Nutty Professor with Jerry Lewis.

Film I once loved and now realize it’s terrible: Isn’t this the same as the previous question? Same answer.

Bonus Question – Film that is terrible and I hated it from the start: Grown Ups 2.

Film that means most to me because of memories I have of it: Well, as “Memories that light the corners of my mind”, as the Barbra Streisand song goes, the answer to this question is The Way We Were. I think it was the first movie that my wife and I thoroughly enjoyed together, and one of my memories is dancing with her to that song in the lounge of a New York City hotel.

Sexiest film: So, so many great movies belong in this category. Is it fair to exclude any of them, as they have all contributed to a better understanding of true, sensuous love-making? Certainly Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, and Unfaithful would be in my top ten. But in my opinion the sexiest film ever that I’ve seen is Deep Throat, my first and only pornographic flick . 

Film that I most relate to: Due to my love of baseball and all things Irish I don’t think it would surprise anyone if my answer to this question was The Pride of the Yankees or Field of Dreams or Rudy or Leap Year, but no, the correct answer is That Championship Season, the film version of the Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award winning drama written and directed by Jason Miller, my altar boy mentor, my St. Patrick’s three sport star athlete, my sister’s senior prom date. The story is about a reunion of a Scranton high school basketball team and much of the film was shot in Scranton, including in a public school one block from my house and in Nay Aug Park. It can’t get more relatable than that.

Film that is objectively the greatest ever: Pick any one of these – The Wizard of Oz, Singing in the Rain, Gone with the Wind, Citizen Kane, and The Godfather. Okay, I’m going with The Shawshank Redemption. 

Film that I’ve watched the most: When I am channel surfing there are some movies that I just can’t move on from once my remote comes upon it. I have to watch that movie again to its conclusion. These include Pretty Woman, Princess Bride, Forrest Gump, Back to the Future, Blazing Saddles, Rain Man, Bull Durham, and any movie graced by the presence of Amy Adams, Diane Lane, Leslie Mann, or Emma Stone. But as often as I’ve watched those movies it’s not as much as I’ve watched Waking Ned Devine. It is a delightful comedy film shot in Ireland that showcases Irish traditions, likable characters with Irish brogue, the beautiful Irish countryside, and the free flow of Guinness in a local pub.

Worst film I’ve ever seen: The Lion King, because it’s just a glorified cartoon. I prefer appearances in a movie by humans.

Film that made me laugh out loud the most: This is not a fair question for me because it is in my nature to not laugh out loud, at anything really. But I’ve seen some pretty funny movies that made me chuckle or even giggle a bit. The best, in my view, is Airplane.

The one DVD I would take to Heaven: The Ten Commandments, and I would ask Moses (and Charlton Heston, if he’s up there} to explain and elaborate on them for me.

I think a number of important questions were left out of this inquiry, such as “what musical would best fit your talents”, and “of all the war movies you’ve seen, what is your favorite war”, and “what movie made you vomit the most”, and “what was your favorite drive-in necking movie”, and “at what movie showing did the popcorn and the Dots cost the most”. Opportunities lost.